Today was the first day of the entire fast where I was close to quitting. I got in bed after a six-hour drive and just got so tired of feeling tired. Since about day three I've felt like I'm depressed, or fighting off an infection or something. I mostly want to be left alone and watch netflix.
This feeling of weakness is very uncomfortable to me. My body was always my source of safety. I've been a boxer and I've been in the army. A great deal of my life has been spent making my body a safe-house. This unability to enjoy life and to be enthusiastic about things is really wearing me down.
I thought it'd be the hunger or the cravings that'd get me, but it's not.
I don't know. I'm just really sick of feeling sick. I'm not breaking the fast today, but the question has gotten into my head: Is it worth it?
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